✘ | 007 | VIDEO

[wecanavenge]

[Filtered away from Ivy]

[And early evening on Saturday, when he's sure he'll be able to catch the majority of the student body, everyone's device is going to light up and make noise. Because there will be no claims of ignorance on this since Erik has to give this speech; if he gets to deal with this subject, then so do you.]

Attention, students. Yes, all of you. Put down your video games and, yes, even your homework for the next five minutes, or I'll be forced to call an assembly. I know you don't want to waste your Saturday night in the auditorium anymore than I do.

[He clears his throat, and looks awkward for just a moment before rolling his eyes. How he pulled this lot he doesn't know, but he's going to have a little fun with it. Maybe a tiny bit unprofessionally but WHO'S JUDGING.]

You can all thank Mr. Kirk for this lovely discussion we're about to have, but it's come to my attention that the start of year request to avoid overly friendly interactions with our current forest protector wasn't quite enough for your simple minds to grasp. It's fallen to me [for some reason 8|] to remind you all that it would be best to stay out of the forest entirely. She does not take well to harm to her plants, and the school does not take well to calls from hysterical parents, asking how their perfect darling could possibly have developed poison ivy down there.

[And a pause where he pinches the bridge of his nose because maybe you assholes still aren't getting the picture, AND HE IS NOT DOING THIS AGAIN.]

Once more, students: Do not have sex with Ivy. Do not have sex with her in the forest. Do not have sex with her outside the forest. Do not find a loophole in which to have sex with her. Do avoid the forest all together. Do attend class, and study, and get back to your homework.

[And though he would DESPERATELY LOVE to leave it at that, he has to tack this on:] Are there any questions?

[He somehow sounds incredibly bored while managing to get across that anyone who actually asks may find themselves shoved off the roof in their next flight lesson.]

Comments

[wecanavenge]

Inquiring minds would also like to know if you'd prefer to serve your detention tonight writing 'I must not be a smartass' one thousand times, or if you'd rather help clean the kitchens.

[aggravating]

Aww, I get a choice? [... God being an asshole is fun.] Kitchens. And if I can get an answer, I'll show up without calling dad.

[He's like a Draco Malfoy if he'd been put in Gryffindor, unfortunately enough.]

[wecanavenge]

You'll report to my office tonight, and every night for the next week to do lines, then. [Ignoring the threat of your father because fuck your father you pompous little shit. B|]

[aggravating]

[Wait. Erik. You're letting this kid in your office? For the time it takes to write lines?

... Your funeral, man.]

Sir, yes sir.

[wecanavenge]

[He will probably consider murder a thousand times. And Erik is killing the conversation there before Tony has a chance to go on. B|]

[sharpsuitfluffytail]

Bit too eager there, sport.

[Unrelated younger bro, why you gotta be such a jerk? He's oddly proud, actually.]

[aggravating]

[Oh, hey dude he swears is a weird lovechild and really wouldn't be too surprised about it, what with his family.]

Just gives me more time to get an answer, Koz.

[sharpsuitfluffytail]

[He was born from a couple that even magic users frown upon. If they're related, the only surprising thing would be if Tony's parents were both human.]

Ever hear of hands-on research? Look into it. The library has a wealth of information on this subject, I'm sure.

[Go taste the forbidden fruit, maybe-bro, is what he's saying here.]

[aggravating]

[As far as he knows? No. They're both magic folk. Witch and Wizard, whatever the hell you wanted to call them. But he wouldn't have put it past his dad to do anything that moved.]

He asked for any questions we had about sex, sir. [Ahh, there it is. The cheeky respect.

At least with Koz it's almost sincere. Not... that you could tell much from his tone, but.] Figured I'd be able to avoid a trip to the library with it.